This post is a review of one of the best parenting books I’ve ever read (and I’ve read plenty). I say it’s one of the best because it transformed how I fathered my children, and sticks with me even today. I still use it constantly with my boys (who are now 11, 13, and 15). The book has the title of this post: Parenting With Love and Logic, and is written by Forest Cline and Jim Fay
What the Book is About:
The parenting philosophy these books (Parenting with Love and Logic and Parenting Teens with Love and Logic) offer focuses parents on developing loving relationships with their children through which parents help their kids grow into responsible human beings by experiencing the logical consequences of their own choices. Hence, Parenting with Love and Logic encourages and trains parents to give as many choices to their children as possible, rather than making choices for them, and then to allow their children to either endure or enjoy the logical consequences of their own decisions while showing empathy for how hard it is to endure consequences of bad decisions (hence, both love and logic). In this way, by demonstrating love yet allowing logical consequences, we parents enable our kids to think, reason, decide, and live with the decisions they make.
Cline and Fay believe that too many parents control their children, make decisions for them, and inadvertently cripple their kids’ decision-making ability, thus producing children who are not able to make good decisions when they have to—kids who are not confident to think on their own. More kids, Cline and Fay argue, get into trouble in their teen years because of this parenting failure early on than because of rebellion. The authors suggest that it is because young children were not properly trained through Love and Logic to become responsible decision makers who could think for themselves that peer pressure becomes so influential in adolescence. Children who have essentially been told by their parents what to do, what to wear, what to eat and drink, how to wear their hair, when to go to bed, and how to act are most susceptible to allowing themselves to be told such things as teens by their peers, and perhaps the rest of their lives.
I have read many parenting books, but something about Parenting with Love and Logic captivated my attention and led to immediate application. Without question, Cline and Fay’s book on parenting is one of the best I’ve read. When I witnessed the significant impact the application of it’s teaching made on my boys, almost immediately, I purchased and read Cline and Fay’s second book, Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. Though a good portion of the philosophical section of this sequel is understandably a repeat of the first, many of the useful examples are specific to the teen years and struggles. The first book is focused mostly on school-age children though it is clearly illustrated how the teaching of this book can be applied to toddlers as well.
Parenting with Love and Logic helps parents give their children the gift of responsible, thoughtful decision-making that produces maturity, wisdom and confidence. I have become a Love and Logic parent, and my boys are growing beautifully as I learn to more consistently apply this practical and helpful parenting philosophy. I could write a book of stories about how well this philosophy works but I don’t need to. That book has already been written. Buy Parenting with Love and Logic and Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. Learning to parent like this is a must.
Co-Author Foster Cline, M.D., is an internationally recognized physician and adult and child psychiatrist who has successfully parented four children. He is a consultant to mental health organizations, school systems, and business and parent groups across North America. He specializes in working with difficult children and is founder of Evergreen Consultants in Evergreen, Colorado.
Co-Author Jim Fay is also co-founder of The Love and Logic Institute and a former school principal. He has 30 years experience as a speaker and consultant. Jim Fay has become one of America’s most sought-after presenters in the fields of parenting, positive discipline, and classroom management
About the Love and Logic Institute:
(info quoted here from www.loveandlogic.com/aboutus
Trusted for over 30 years, Love and Logic is a philosophy founded in 1977 by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D. It is the approach of choice among leading educators, parents, and other professionals worldwide.
The Love and Logic Institute is dedicated to making parenting and teaching fun and rewarding, instead of stressful and chaotic. We provide practical tools and techniques that help adults achieve respectful, healthy relationships with their children. All of our work is based on a psychologically sound parenting and teaching philosophy called Love and Logic.
Cline and Fay target all parents in general in both books, but the titles help focus parents as to which book might be most appropriate for them. Parenting with Love and Logic is primarily for parents with young school-age children, pre-school to middle school. Parenting Teens with Love and Logic is of course for parents of teenagers. However, in both books, the authors lay out the Love and Logic Parenting Philosophy. It’s primarily the examples they use which differ. The practical sections (which are extensive and very useful) use illustrations targeted for the age of children each book addresses.
For More Information:
See also Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay (2000).
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